Tag Archives: William Hague

Survey shows 3% of voters think Mr. Blobby is Home Secretary

Nineties icon Mr. Blobby

A new survey conducted by MORI, the UK’s second largest research organisation, has revealed that 3% of registered voters believe that the Home Secretary is Mr. Blobby, the nineties television character made popular by his clumsy antics on Noel Edmonds’ Saturday evening show.

With voters polled just four months after May’s general election the survey is bound to come as something of an embarrassment to the coalition government, not to mention the impression it presents of the country’s education system.

The MORI poll showed that just 32% correctly identified the current Home Secretary as being Theresa May, despite the fact that she is the highest ranking female member of the Cabinet.  A further 14% of those asked believed that William Hague holds the post; 9% thought that Nick Clegg was the Home Secretary while a significant 42% of those polled admitted that they did not know who the current Home Secretary is.

In what will perhaps be a more sobering thought for the government – and Ms May in particular – an additional question posed to those who did not know the Home Secretary discovered that 73% felt that Mr. Blobby would make a better senior Cabinet figure than Theresa May.

At the moment it is unknown whether Mr. Blobby intends to run for office.

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The Sun says…

The treatment of William Hague in the wake of the vicious internet smear campaign has been nothing short of a disgrace and an embarrassment to the values which once made Britain great.  The Foreign Secretary is a man who prides himself on his dignity and his loyalty.  These disgusting internet rumours not only put undue pressure on the man in both his professional and his personal life, but they also effect our nation as a whole.

It reflects badly on our country when an honest and hard-working man like Hague cannot share a hotel room with his young driver without becoming subject to vile gossip.  What does it say about us when a Cabinet minister cannot appoint a special advisor without having his entire life put under a sleazy microscope?

To sit anonymouslybehind a computer screen  in some office somewhere publishing sickening rumours about the private life of a deeply honourable family man like William Hague is a horrible and malicious act.  And it is wrong.

Because that’s what The Sun is supposed to do.

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Cluedo to release updated version in time for Christmas

The makers of the popular board game Cluedo have confirmed that they are scheduled to release an updated version of the classic game in time for Christmas.  The game, which ordinarily challenges players to discover which character murdered Dr. Black in which room and with which weapon, will this year ask participants to use investigative journalism techniques to collect various clues with the objective of “going public” with a political scandal.  While details of the upcoming game have been kept largely under wraps, we have learned that some of the outcomes of the game include:  “President Clinton in the Oval Office with the cigar”; “Jeffrey Archer at Victoria Station with the vice-girl [allegedly!]”; Charles Kennedy in the back room with a bottle of whisky” and “William Hague in the hotel room with a twenty-five year old driver”.

The board game will retail at £13.49.

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