Anti-cuts protesters’ fury at cost of London clean-up

The organisers of Saturday’s anti-cuts demonstration at Hyde Park have today expressed their outrage at the millions of pounds pledged by the government to help clean-up the streets of London which were wrecked by violent protests in the city.

Shop windows were smashed, buildings broken into and monuments desecrated as a rally against the drastic cuts in government spending turned violent on Saturday afternoon, resulting in dozens of arrests and the injury of several police officers.

As the clean-up operation begins to restore those areas of the capital city effected, the government has promised to help finance the work, a move which has angered those who have protested against the cuts in government spending.

“This is absolutely outrageous,” wrote one anti-cuts demonstrator on his blog.  “David Cameron has punished the poor by taking away jobs and cutting welfare benefits, and now he’s spending millions of pounds taken from the pockets of the hardest hit to fix a few broken windows in the richest part of the country?!!!!!”

“The only way this government will listen to our concerns is if we descend onto London en masse to protest against these ridiculous spending decisions….”  [cont. page 40]

Life-sized game of Monopoly turns violent

The largest ever game of Monopoly to take place in Britain – a life-sized version of the game played out in the streets of London – turned violent yesterday afternoon when a group of players took offence to the high value of property on Oxford Street.

The game began peacefully enough amid a colourful atmosphere at Hyde Park as participants turned up in the costume of their selected metal token and the giant novelty dice was rolled across the grass to signal the start of Britain’s biggest board game.

However, the friendly fun didn’t last long as the group was quickly infiltrated by a band of Monopoly players who seemed intent on causing trouble.  They descended on Piccadilly Circus and Oxford Street in numbers, indiscriminately smashing the little plastic blocks representing houses and hotels as well as clashing furiously with police who attempted, without success, to maintain the civil rules of Monopoly.

The rogue players chanted slogans against the “Capitalist greed” of players who demanded £100 rent for landing on their property square.

Police attempted to calm the situation by handing “get out of jail free cards” to those willing to curtail their violent behaviour…[cont. page 14]

Londoners protest against loss of hour

LONDON, UK – The streets of Britain’s capital city were today overwhelmed as tens of thousands of protesters took to the streets to rally against the loss of an hour on Sunday morning.

As many as 250,000 people took part in the demonstrations which were manifested from a belief that there’s nothing the Coalition government wont take away from the British people to save a little money.

British Summer Time is due to begin tomorrow morning when the clocks move forward an hour at 1am.  However, thousands of anti-cuts protestors organised todays rally to march against what they see as another needlessly deep government cut.

The main march passed without incident, however there was a minority of anti-BST protesters who became involved in violent scenes, clashing with riot police on Oxford Street and Piccadilly Circus.

“For this government to take away an hour from our lives is the last straw,” one protester told us as he launched a glass bottle in the direction of police officers.  “We simply had to come down here and voice our anger.  It’s one thing taking our jobs and the money from our pockets, but it’s completely unforgivable to take away time.”

One particularly poignant banner held aloft by the marchers read simply:  “We don’t have any time for you Mr. Cameron”

A government spokesman insisted that the clock changes every spring and that the country will gain an hour when British Summer Time ends in October.  “The government isn’t responsible for Britain losing an hour on Sunday morning,” said the spokesman shortly before he was hit by a custard pie.