Tag Archives: Liberal Democrats

Liberal Democrats to be a third less liberal

Yesterday’s historic Spending Review by Chancellor George Osborne will require that the Liberal Democrats become a third less liberal in what commentators described as a bold political move by the government.

Mr Osbourne argued for the change in his statement to the House of Commons, telling MP’s that the success of the coalition government and Britain’s survival through a series of devastating cuts depended on the Liberal Democrats ignoring their core values and becoming less liberal.

The reduction will be back-dated to June.

More Spending Review news:

  • UK rain to be made carbon efficient
  • Milton Keynes to be abolished
  • Winter fuel allowance to be replaced by new provision of six copies per household of John Keynes’s The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money for burning
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Filed under Recession

Operation-based recession board game to be released next month

Hasbro, makers of the popular board game ‘Operation’, have today announced the production of a sister version of the game to be released next month.  ‘Recession’ will be based largely on the battery-operated original which requires players to remove various medical ailments from a patient without touching the metal edge.

In this new version the patient will be replaced by a map of the UK.  Players (or ministers, as they will be known) will be asked to remove different parts as challenged by the cards they are dealt.  Cards (or policies) may ask players to take defence jobs out of Scotland, to remove child benefits from middle England or to extract the urine from Liberal Democrat voters.

The aim of the game will be to hope that players don’t take too much, otherwise irreparable damage may be caused.

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Confusion at Lib Dem conference as delegates ask: who are we?

The Liberal Democrat Autumn party conference in Liverpool

The Liberal Democrats’ party conference in Liverpool was thrown into confusion and disarray today when delegates tabled a motion asking exactly who they are, what they believe in and what they stand for.  The question caused farcical scenes as party members were sent scurrying for answers.

Events were delayed for several minutes while hushed words spread throughout the conference venue.  One party source was quoted as saying:  “For many months now we have been suffering an identity crisis.  Nobody is really sure if we are supposed to believe in traditional Liberal ideals or if we are to adopt centre-right Tory agendas.  Some of us are even unsure whether we are at the right party conference.”

As the afternoon threatened to descend into chaotic comedy a party spokesman appeared on stage and advised delegates that an answer to the question would be forthcoming.  “We are currently in communication with Downing Street and are awaiting instruction from David Cameron….”

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