Tag Archives: David Cameron

Clegg looks on as ‘special relationship’ grows

Cameron and Obama share a joke at Nick Clegg's expense

Nick Clegg is becoming increasingly insecure and isolated according to Lib Dem sources as he enviously watches Coalition partner David Cameron sweet talk American President Barack Obama.

Downing Street insiders report witnessing Mr Clegg stare longingly at rolling news coverage of the Prime Minister whisking Mr. Obama on a whirlwind tour of London which included an appointment with the Queen.

“He keeps checking his phone to see if David has replied to his texts, but he never does,” says a friend of Mr Clegg.  “He tries calling but it just goes straight to voicemail.  All he can do is watch BBC News 24, hoping for a glimpse of David and Barack Obama.”

“It tears him apart watching David with another world leader,” continued the friend, who wishes to remain anonymous.  “He sees them walking side-by-side, posing for flash photographs, laughing and joking as they play table tennis with schoolchildren, and all he can think is:  ‘that used to be me.'”

The Deputy Prime Minister is said to have become an increasingly forlorn figure, watching Bridget Jones’s Diary several times a day and listening to the music of Patsy Cline.

“I think this really could be the end of their relationship.  Nick can see that David and Barack are beginning to form a special relationship.  He doesn’t understand where it all went wrong for him, but it’s clear that David values Barack Obama and the United States more than he does Nick Clegg and the Liberal Democrats.”


Leave a comment

Filed under News

Ken Clarke admits: I was wrong

Embattled Justice Secretary Ken Clarke today admitted that he made “a very serious error in judgement” at the House of Commons yesterday when he decided to take mushy peas with his pie and chips.

Mr Clarke confessed to reporters outside Parliament that he has been regretting the decision – which he claims was made in haste – ever since he sat down to eat his lunch yesterday.

“It has been weighing heavily on my mind for the past twenty-four hours,” said Mr. Clarke, who has been facing questions over his suitability for the Cabinet position since news of his indiscretion broke.  “All I can honestly and humbly say is that I made a mistake.”

“I knew right away that I should have taken baked beans with my pie and chips.  I don’t know what made me ask for mushy peas, but I did and I can’t go back now.”

Mr. Clarke refused to accept that he should offer his resignation to the Prime Minister, and Downing Street sources this evening said that they don’t believe that David Cameron will consider removing the Justice Secretary from his post over the matter.

Leave a comment

Filed under News

Anti-cuts protesters’ fury at cost of London clean-up

The organisers of Saturday’s anti-cuts demonstration at Hyde Park have today expressed their outrage at the millions of pounds pledged by the government to help clean-up the streets of London which were wrecked by violent protests in the city.

Shop windows were smashed, buildings broken into and monuments desecrated as a rally against the drastic cuts in government spending turned violent on Saturday afternoon, resulting in dozens of arrests and the injury of several police officers.

As the clean-up operation begins to restore those areas of the capital city effected, the government has promised to help finance the work, a move which has angered those who have protested against the cuts in government spending.

“This is absolutely outrageous,” wrote one anti-cuts demonstrator on his blog.  “David Cameron has punished the poor by taking away jobs and cutting welfare benefits, and now he’s spending millions of pounds taken from the pockets of the hardest hit to fix a few broken windows in the richest part of the country?!!!!!”

“The only way this government will listen to our concerns is if we descend onto London en masse to protest against these ridiculous spending decisions….”  [cont. page 40]

Leave a comment

Filed under News

Cameron’s Big Society to be cat inclusive

David Cameron today confirmed that his vision of a ‘Big Society’ will be inclusive of the cat community as the Prime Minister welcomed four-year-old feline Larry to Downing Street.

It is unclear whether Larry has been offered a ministerial role within the government, but rumours around Westminster suggest that the cat may be in line to take on the newly created role of Fur ball Czar as the government is keen to show its caring, loving side in light of the recent cuts.

A brief statement issued by Downing Street this afternoon said:  “David Cameron has introduced Larry the cat to Number Ten in yet further evidence that the Big Society is inclusive of all walks of British life.  Whether male or female, rich or poor, human or cat, everyone is a part of the Big Society, and we all have our contribution to make.”

While press speculation is abound that rodents have been seen on the steps of Number Ten Downing Street, it has not been suggested that Larry the cat has been brought in simply to chase Nick Clegg away.

Leave a comment

Filed under News

If Vince Cable wants to go to war, send him to Iraq

The Sun says

So Vince Cable has “declared war” on Rupert Murdoch, owner of News Corporation, which is the parent company of The Sun?  If the Business Secretary really wants to go to war then David Cameron should send him to Iraq!

Iraq is a country where one tyrannical man wielded immense power, dictating the thoughts and actions of an entire population to suit his own needs, unlike Britain where everyone is free to think whatever The Sun believes is right for them!

Vince Cable is clearly guilty of attempting to use his cabinet position to obstruct that very freedom, but he would do well to remember how fortunate he and his Liberal Democrat friends were to be invited into the government.  David Cameron didn’t have to extend that invitation to the Lib Dem’s, but he did because that’s the kind of partnership government he wanted.

However, Vince Cable’s bitter actions in trying to prevent a business deal which would have greatly benefited Rupert Murdoch and led to an environment where The Sun and Sky News could print and report anything they like (surely “would have greatly benefited Britain and led to a stronger media presence on the world stage?  ED.) are not the actions of  a man who is fit to hold such an influential position on the government.

The Prime Minister must show strong leadership in this situation and do as Rupert Murdoch wishes by sacking Vince Cable.

Leave a comment

Filed under News

Anger as Clegg changes X-Factor vote at last minute

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has stepped into yet another voting row as it emerged today that he intends on reneging on his promise to vote for One Direction in tonight’s X-Factor final, instead now pledging to back Matt Cardle.

Mr. Clegg has been telling people for weeks that he will be registering his vote for the teenage boy band One Direction in the final of the hit talent show, insisting that it is his policy to “give the youth of today a chance”.

However, in a move which will come as yet another blow to Britain’s beleaguered student population, Liberal Democrat sources suggest that Mr. Clegg will go against his stated policy and instead vote for rival Matt Cardle.

It is unclear how much Mr. Clegg’s decision has been influenced by David Cameron.

1 Comment

Filed under Entertainment, News

WikiLeaks: UK cabinet spent week’s work experience at Toys ‘R’ Us

Documents published on the controversial WikiLeaks site this afternoon show that several members of the newly formed Cabinet of the British government spent a week’s work experience at the Croydon branch of Toys ‘R’ Us.

The cables, released on the day that the coalition government faces its first major challenge as Parliament votes on a bill to raise tuition fees, reveal that more than a quarter of newly appointed Cabinet ministers were deployed to the toy and games retailer on the week beginning May 17.

Although some details of the document have been redacted, it can be seen that Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg was put in charge of ‘Learning Toys’, Transport Minister Phil Hammond was given responsibility for the store’s range of model train sets, Chris Huhne was given a role supervising warehouse activity while Culture Minister Jeremy Hunt was refused permission to attend the store, with Toys ‘R’ Us management fearing the potential backlash Mr Hunt’s name could cause.

The leaked document outlines Prime Minister David Cameron’s belief that a week spent working in the toy store would provide excellent experience for the challenges of dealing with day-to-day government, with backbench MP’s and junior minister’s being likened to “spoilt little children”.

The leak is sure to cause some discomfort for the Prime Minister, who was hoping to send some struggling ministers to various branches of Greggs over the Christmas period.


Leave a comment

Filed under News