A survey taken exclusively amongst men who consider themselves to be insecure and overly self-conscious has named Johnny Depp as the ugliest man in the world.
Around 2,500 men participated in the street survey between the 27th and 29th of March with respondents being asked two questions: “Do you consider yourself to be secure in your masculinity?” and “Who is the ugliest man in the world?”
Those men who were considered to be secure in their masculinity were invited to take a pedicure, while those who replied that they are indeed insecure were then asked to name the ugliest man in the world.
Amongst those who answered the question, 46% of insecure men named Johnny Depp as the ugliest man in the world; 20% cited Brad Pitt; 13% believed Orlando Bloom is the ugliest man in the world and 7% wept uncontrollably.
An animal rights group today publically condemned the ITV1 “reality television” show I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!” for its cruel treatment of animals and insects, insisting that it is “inhumane” to force them to share their habitat with celebrities such as Gillian McKeith and an X Factor loser.
The group issued a strongly worded statement criticising the popular show, which follows a group of celebrities as they set up camp in the Australian jungle, completing a series of tasks in order to win food and public sympathy.
“As if being forced to share their natural habitat with these vile creatures isn’t bad enough, the fact that many of these poor animals are subjected to the indignity of being eaten in death by so-called celebrities like Lembit Opik is an outrage. We could just about accept it if Brad Pitt was to eat kangaroo testicle on television, or if Britney Spears swallowed an entire crocodile penis in the name of entertainment, but Lembit Opik? It is extremely dis-respectful and frankly insulting to the animals involved.”
Producers of the hit show refused to issue an outright apology to the animal rights group today, but did intimate that they may be willing to apologise to the families of any animals or insects who may have been effected by the sight of their loved ones being seen on screen alongside Lembit Opik.