Tag Archives: Barack Obama

Clegg looks on as ‘special relationship’ grows

Cameron and Obama share a joke at Nick Clegg's expense

Nick Clegg is becoming increasingly insecure and isolated according to Lib Dem sources as he enviously watches Coalition partner David Cameron sweet talk American President Barack Obama.

Downing Street insiders report witnessing Mr Clegg stare longingly at rolling news coverage of the Prime Minister whisking Mr. Obama on a whirlwind tour of London which included an appointment with the Queen.

“He keeps checking his phone to see if David has replied to his texts, but he never does,” says a friend of Mr Clegg.  “He tries calling but it just goes straight to voicemail.  All he can do is watch BBC News 24, hoping for a glimpse of David and Barack Obama.”

“It tears him apart watching David with another world leader,” continued the friend, who wishes to remain anonymous.  “He sees them walking side-by-side, posing for flash photographs, laughing and joking as they play table tennis with schoolchildren, and all he can think is:  ‘that used to be me.'”

The Deputy Prime Minister is said to have become an increasingly forlorn figure, watching Bridget Jones’s Diary several times a day and listening to the music of Patsy Cline.

“I think this really could be the end of their relationship.  Nick can see that David and Barack are beginning to form a special relationship.  He doesn’t understand where it all went wrong for him, but it’s clear that David values Barack Obama and the United States more than he does Nick Clegg and the Liberal Democrats.”

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Donald Trump unable to produce birth certificate for hair

Donald Trump was today at the centre of another ‘birther’ controversy when he failed to produce a birth certificate to prove the authenticity of his hair when challenged.

Mr. Trump, a famous property developer and television personality, was part of a campaign which demanded that President Barack Obama released his birth certificate to prove that he is an American born citizen.

However, the tables were today turned on the tycoon when a group of influential hair weavers demanded that he produce evidence which proves that his famous hair is natural and not a weave as many have speculated for years.

A spokesman for the group said:  “The subject of Donald Trump’s hair has been discussed in America for several years, and the common belief seems to be his hair is weaved in some way.  But Donald has always denied this.  We believe that it’s time for Donald to prove that his hair is in fact 100% natural – if only because the weave is so bad that it is giving people like me and my fellow hair weavers a bad name.”

Trump, however, was unable to produce a birth certificate for his hair and called for the “ridiculous charade” to end.

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