New pill will take away human need to eat

Product developers at Procter & Gamble today unveiled their latest Health and Well-Being supplement – a pill which they claim will completely remove the human need to eat by providing the nutrition of three meals in a single daily dosage.

The wonder pill, which is expected to go on sale in March 2012, contains the equivalent vitamins, protein and nutritional value of a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner and once taken will leave the consumer feeling full and with absolutely no appetite.

“In this increasingly frantic modern world of ours the consumer is finding very little time to eat three proper meals a day,” said a press officer from Procter & Gamble.  “Often breakfast is skipped in the rush to get children ready for school in the morning, or to be on the Tube before rush hour.  Lunch breaks might be forgotten as a meeting runs late, and some simply don’t have the time or the energy to cook a full meal by the time they get home at night.”

“Our research also found that in some areas the current economic downturn has effected the public’s ability to eat three meals a day.  They either can’t afford to eat three times in a day or they are too worried about the recession or house prices or unemployment to eat a balanced diet.”

“It is those people who our new pill will benefit most.  Rather than have to consider three separate opportunities to eat through the day, our new pill is consumed just once at the discretion of the user and, over a period of 14 hours, it will provide all of the health and nutrition benefits of three healthy, balanced meals.  There is no need to spend twenty minutes in a supermarket after work thinking about tonight’s dinner, because you already ate it along with your breakfast and lunch before you left home in the morning!”

A box of five pills will retail at £89.99.

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